Here comes our third installment of the funniest comic book ads ever! Today’s post brings us more of the bizzare, the funny and outright lies from marketers of the day. Enjoy!
15. Hostess Baseball Cards
Sure I read a lot of comic books as kid but I was an even bigger baseball card collector so when I saw this ad I got all worked up. Now, what didn’t occur to me was that you had to actually cut the cards out of the bottom of the box itself. Nobody was interested in trading for my poorly cut cards and as I found out later, making matters worse, once you cut the cards from the box they were worthless. I mean, what kind of dork had the discipline to not cut them out? Who keep empty Twinkie boxes in their room? I’m sure future commentors will let us know soon.
14. Reduce large bust
Wait, what?! I was baffled by this as a child…who am I kidding, I am baffled by this as an adult. A significant portion of my ninja abilities have been utilized in attempting to secretly observe large busts and these SOB’s are working against me? The whole idea of this product is a crime against humanity. I can’t even think about this one anymore, I’m getting too upset. Let’s just move on.
13. Kung Fu Sandals
O.K., this one I actually fell for. I took this ad to mean that this was the actual pair of sandals that Kung Fu masters had been wearing for hundreds of years. Hygiene issues aside, I envisioned elaborate and secretive ceremonies as one master passed on the smelly footwear to the next master every 100 years or so and knew I had to be part of this honored tradition. So, I diligently traced my eight year old foot on a piece paper and sent it to Bridgeport, Connecticut (because that is where most Kung Fu masters reside) along with my three dollars and promptly received a pair of rubber flip flops that broke after only kicking my sister once.
12. Batman Hostess ad
Again, another ad from our friends at Hostess that made absolutely no sense. I do like the nice touch at the end though where Batman slaps the taste out of the mouths of the bad guys but wasn’t one of the guys he just knocked out actually driving the car in which Batman himself is riding? On another note, in the first panel the writers of this drivel aren’t even trying to be subtle with their sexual innuendo having poor Robin stare deeply into Batman’s eyes and emphasize the words Batman, real, big, deep. Goodness, get a room.
11. Tri-Pod Machine Gun
Awesome! A machine gun just for the adolescent set. I love that this comes with a ten day free trial. Heck, I could take out the entire North Korean army in ten days with this thing. I’m trying to imagine the parent that would need eleven days to decide whether or not this little item might not be the best idea for little Johnny and the rest of his playmates on the block.