Here we go with our fourth installment of the funniest comic book ads ever! Today’s post brings us role models like O.J. Simpson, ways to spy on the girl next door and monkeys. Enjoy!
10. 100 Toy Soldiers!
I remember my buddy Josh and I would fantasize over and over again about the battles we could have if we got this awesome set of army men. What’s more the idea of the G.I. issue footlocker they came in was almost too cool to even think about! Josh finally took the plunge and mailed off his $1.25. When the big day of the sets arrival came, I remember literally shaking with excitement as I pedalled my Huffy over to his house.
Another "awesome" set of soldiers.
When I got there Josh was so devastated he couldn’t even look me in the eye, he just pointed to a small cardboard box sitting on the kitchen table. This couldn’t be it, right? It was. I looked in the “footlocker” and found quite possibly the cheapest made, paper thin, soldiers known to mankind. They were so flimsy and brittle that the only real battle you could have with them was was to see if you could keep them standing up for more than 30 seconds and of course when one would fall they all would fall in a maddening domino fashion. Man that was a devastating day only slightly uplifted by the fact that they did melt nicely on the next 4th of July.
9. X-Ray Specs
Let’s just say, that no you really can’t see what Megan, the girl next door is hiding under her dress no matter how hard you squint while wearing these things. I still think I’ve got a headache from from this by the way. It might explain my sense of humor.
8. Be Like O.J.
Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but this one is too funny. When I grow up I want to be just like O.J. I wonder who my first double homicide will be?
7. Pet Monkeys!
Recipe for disaster? You bet. Still, even to this day there is little part of me that truly believes having a monkey in my life would make it just a little better in every way. On another note, is that monkey wearing lederhosen?
6. Get Muscles!
Despite the fact that I’m pretty sure they modeled the 90 pound weakling off of my junior high picture I never fell for this one. Apparently, when you sent away for Mr. Atlas’ miracle product all he sent back was a big rubber band to build your herculean muscles. From the cartoon in the add (where apparently violence solves all problems) all you need is a week or so of playing with the rubber band and wham o, it’s an all new you!
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I remember the 100 Toy Soldier Set (and the acute disappointment that went along with receiving it) well. Just recently I found my old set. I thought it had been thrown out many, many years ago. It was so strange to once again gaze upon the very object that helped me to realize that there wasn’t always truth in advertising, and that even kids weren’t safe from being ripped off by greedy adults. I wrote blog about my experience as well. Here it is if you’d care to take a look:
http://monsterdad69.blogspot.com/2011/04/anorexic-toy-soldiers.html
Great title, even better article! Brings back a lot of memories.