Lists | The Comics Ninja

Hottest Gamer Girls…Ever, Part One

Dec 022011

We cover gaming on this website, we talk about gaming in our podcasts and we game at home. That’s all great in itself, but it has come to our attention to that there are a lot of “hot” gamer girls out there and maybe we haven’t been giving them their due what with all of the attention we give the cosplay babes. Well they are neglected no more! We have scoured the internet, our piles of pictures and the four corners of the Basement of Mystery and come up with twenty of the hottest girl gamer photos of all time.

We’ll break our list into two posts, not necessarily in any order or ranking, they’re all pretty hot frankly. A couple of observations, if these pictures are to be believed girls really like to game in their underwear, maybe it’s all of the sweaty action, we don’t know we just say hallelujah! Second, maybe some of these pictures are just really hot women holding a gaming consul for the photo, again, we don’t know, we don’t care. Enjoy the first ten!

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The Funniest Comic Book Ads of All-Time: 10-6

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Jan 162011

Here we go with our fourth installment of the funniest comic book ads ever! Today’s post brings us role models like O.J. Simpson, ways to spy on the girl next door and monkeys. Enjoy!

10. 100 Toy Soldiers!

I remember my buddy Josh and I would fantasize over and over again about the battles we could have if we got this awesome set of army men. What’s more the idea of the G.I. issue footlocker they came in was almost too cool to even think about! Josh finally took the plunge and mailed off his $1.25. When the big day of the sets arrival came, I remember literally shaking with excitement as I pedalled my Huffy over to his house.

Another "awesome" set of soldiers.

When I got there Josh was so devastated he couldn’t even look me in the eye, he just pointed to a small cardboard box sitting on the kitchen table. This couldn’t be it, right? It was. I looked in the “footlocker” and found quite possibly the cheapest made, paper thin, soldiers known to mankind. They were so flimsy and brittle that the only real battle you could have with them was was to see if you could keep them standing up for more than 30 seconds and of course when one would fall they all would fall in a maddening domino fashion. Man that was a devastating day only slightly uplifted by the fact that they did melt nicely on the next 4th of July.

9. X-Ray Specs

Let’s just say, that no you really can’t see what Megan, the girl next door is hiding under her dress no matter how hard you squint while wearing these things. I still think I’ve got a headache from from this by the way. It might explain my sense of humor.

8. Be Like O.J.

Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but this one is too funny. When I grow up I want to be just like O.J. I wonder who my first double homicide will be?

7. Pet Monkeys!

Recipe for disaster? You bet. Still, even to this day there is little part of me that truly believes having a monkey in my life would make it just a little better in every way. On another note, is that monkey wearing lederhosen?

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The Funniest Comic Book Ads of All-Time: 15-11

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Dec 302010

Here comes our third installment of the funniest comic book ads ever! Today’s post brings us more of the bizzare, the funny and outright lies from marketers of the day. Enjoy!

15. Hostess Baseball Cards

Sure I read a lot of comic books as kid but I was an even bigger baseball card collector so when I saw this ad I got all worked up. Now, what didn’t occur to me was that you had to actually cut the cards out of the bottom of the box itself. Nobody was interested in trading for my poorly cut cards and as I found out later, making matters worse, once you cut the cards from the box they were worthless. I mean, what kind of dork had the discipline to not cut them out? Who keep empty Twinkie boxes in their room? I’m sure future commentors will let us know soon.

14. Reduce large bust

Wait, what?! I was baffled by this as a child…who am I kidding, I am baffled by this as an adult. A significant portion of my ninja abilities have been utilized in attempting to secretly observe large busts and these SOB’s are working against me? The whole idea of this product is a crime against humanity. I can’t even think about this one anymore, I’m getting too upset. Let’s just move on.

13. Kung Fu Sandals

funniest comic book ads ever

O.K., this one I actually fell for. I took this ad to mean that this was the actual pair of sandals that Kung Fu masters had been wearing for hundreds of years. Hygiene issues aside, I envisioned elaborate and secretive ceremonies as one master passed on the smelly footwear to the next master every 100 years or so and knew I had to be part of this honored tradition. So, I diligently traced my eight year old foot on a piece paper and sent it to Bridgeport, Connecticut (because that is where most Kung Fu masters reside) along with my three dollars and promptly received a pair of rubber flip flops that broke after only kicking my sister once.

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The Funniest Comic Book Ads of All-Time: 20-16

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Dec 172010

Here we go again Ninja Nation, into our second installment of the funniest comic book ads ever! Today’s posts brings us more classic and over the top promises from marketers willing to take full advantage of our adolescent naivety. Enjoy!

20. Tricks & Gags

Man, this one and all the other versions of it were classics. I could sit for hours and imagine ways I could trick my older sister with these gadgets. The monster ghost in her room always intrigued me. I thought after I sprung that gem I could defend myself with the karate lessons and if that didn’t work I could go into hiding using the ”bald skin wig” or maybe the werewolf mask.

19. Cube Lube

I guess I fell under the same hypnotic spell as the rest of the country when it came to the Rubik’s Cube. Now I note that they never mention the Rubik’s Cube by name in this ad. Good old Bouge Industries, Inc., (french for “masturbation” I believe) skated a pretty thin copyright infringement line on this one. Furthermore, am I the only one here who finds the statement “Nothing moves your cube like CUBE LUBE!” just a little suggestive, a double-entendre if you will?

18. Man Country

Let’s just get this out in the open right here and now, the outdoors is man county! No women allowed! You can just stay indoors while we saunter about amongst the trees and forest critters fondling ourselves with Cube Lube.

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The Funniest Comic Book Ads of All Time: 25-21

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Dec 112010

Remember the comic book ads of the 60′s, 70′s and 80′s? If you were a kid of that era its more than likely you spent time day dreaming about the fabulous prizes that could be yours if you could just sell 10,000 packets of seeds to your family or neighbors, or you imagined the wonderful adventures and conversations that could be had with your friends, the regal Sea Monkeys? Yeah us to.

Well we decided to poke through the long boxes in the Basement of Mystery and find some of the best ads, from the promises of no more sand kicked in our face to the potential of glimpsing the neighbors naughty bits with our x-ray glasses, we give you the best from our collection. Enjoy!

25. Alien Eye!

At one point I gave the Alien Eye serious consideration. I imagined the pure terror of the kids on my block as I unleased this alien terror, a terror solely under my command! I never could quite scrape together the quarters to make this happen though. Probably for the best as I don’t think my seven year old ego could have taken the ridicule I would have received unleashing this poorly made paper puppet on stick. A stick you the purchaser most likely had to supply I might add.

24. Home Projector

Again, focusing on the naughty bits, this ad most assuredly focused my adolescent mind in that direction! Did I think about the the cool Star Wars re-enactments I could show on my projector or the great stunts we could film in the driveway? No, I of course was drawn to the suggestive woman pictured on the screen like a moth to the flame. Kudos to you Mr. Marketer.

23. Hostess Twinkies

Hostess put out a whole series of these gems. Although they usually made little to no sense I guess the kiddos were conditioned to reading comic books and this gave them a little mini-story to enjoy. Now as to this particular episode, doesn’t Green Lantern have a battery light or something similar to what you would find on your cell phone telling him that his ring charge is almost dead? Putting that aside, I like how Green Lantern finds the big fur ball dangerous enough to enter into “mortal combat” with but once the creature is distracted by the wholesome goodness of Hostess Twinkies, he has no problem slinking off and leaving the children to fend for themselves.

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